Iona Winter

I’ve been reflecting on my rage, its potency, and the things it contains. And I’ve realised that I’m exhausted from hiding invisible pain, in the forms of grief, disability, and discrimination. Exhausted from being ‘strong and resilient’. And exhausted from trying to figure out who I am, now that my boy is dead.

I ask myself, how much of this have I kept in, since long before Reuben decided to leave us? A lot. And the load has increased. I am tired. That’s my truth.

Jung said, ‘Making the darkness conscious, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.’

Apologies to anyone who has taken offence, it is never my intention to shame or blame. Shout outs to everyone who hasn’t turned away from me in the darkness, and supported me with shining my light. I love you x

Earth Bones is from Te Hau Kāika (2019) the mulitmedia exhibition with Reuben Winter and Grace Verweij.

Earth bones

It doesn’t matter how I                                        

define                  dilute                   rework

myself because all of us bleed red.

A familiar discomfort 

lies fetid in our veins,

and the energy required wanes 

just as often as it waxes. 

I’m so fucking tired of the expectation to               

justify                   quantify                nullify

my existence to you. 

I crave release: a circling back

to the woman who exists 

rooted and woven into my bones, 

while these feet of mine promise everything to the earth.