Recently, I had the privilege to speak with friend and writerly colleague Michelle Elvy at Flash Frontier, about A Counter of Moons (interview link below).
Responding to interviews about this book, while welcomed, hasn’t been easy. A Counter of Moons is the most vulnerable kind of writing I’ve done, and will ever do; in response to Reuben Winter, my beloved son, taking his life in 2020.
It’s important to acknowledge those who’ve stuck alongside me for the duration. Thank you for not taking personally my cancelled visits, the hermit-phases I go into more often these days, and the emo-fest that accompanies life as a suicide bereaved mother. Thanks too, to the CLNZ/NZSA 2022 Writers’ Award and the panel who selected this project, rather than avoiding the subject matter.
The downside, sorry folks it’s not all positive news, is that two months on A Counter of Moons has been met with a great deal of silence. I hear it ticking in the early hours of the morning, regardless of the moon being full or new. A silence that is palpable and loaded with myriad societal stigma surrounding suicide and those bereaved by it. A Counter of Moons was created from within that silence, in an attempt to weave words around a topic that is feared, avoided and shamed. It seems, as Michelle asked in the interview, that I will always be ‘a counter of moons’.
A massive shout out to those who loved Reuben, and have been fearless enough to read this book. To those who have generously offered copies to the music community or local libraries, thank you. Alongside this, my deepest gratitude to friends who’ve taken the time to read, reflect and respond to the book – grief, as I’ve said, is a collective experience.
Thank you so much Michelle, for inviting me to speak into the silence that surrounds suicide, and for interviewing me about A Counter of Moons.
Iona Winter 
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