Last week I ventured back into the realm of video readings, because people have said that they’re helpful (for a variety of reasons). Kia rawa atu koe Paula Green, at NZ Poetry Shelf. Thank you so much for inviting me to read some recently published work, and for giving me the impetus to get back on the waka.
What makes it difficult, is knowing how many people refer to me as Reuben’s Mum (or Totems Mum). For the most part the knowledge of his death has been public, due to his prolific presence in the music world both in New Zealand and internationally. And I’ve struggled with my visibility, in amongst a grieving process that will be with me for the rest of my life ~ Reuben was unconditionally loved, that’s for sure.
My latest body of work is centred around the experience of being suicide bereaved. And while I’m immersed in vulnerability most days, with my only child dead, it feels important to share this creative expression. One of us needs to voice this wonky kind of grief, and unfortunately Reuben can’t from where he is now. The toikupu (poetry) shared here are from the aforementioned body of work, which has gone out into the cosmos of potential publishers.
Please click the link below, if you’d like to view the toikupu (poems) alongside the reading.
Poetry Shelf video readings: Iona Winter — NZ Poetry Shelf
And here is the link for Reuben’s Totems album Bardo Thodol (2013) which influenced the final poem in this reading, ‘Book of the dead’ https://totems.bandcamp.com/album/bardo-thodol
Kia tau te rangimārie me te aroha, peace and love to you wherever you may be based in our world,
Iona x
Iona Winter 
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