Iona Winter

Love. L.O.V.E. Lightly Opening Violets Everywhere. It’s one of our most essential needs, and sadly one that is often absent in people’s lives. Last night a woman on the TV said, “There’s loads of love out there, just waiting to be found.” And I think she might be right.

For many of us, love is a tricky topic. For one twisted reason or another, we received very little, or can’t love ourselves, or have had so much we feel like gluttons. There are many other scenarios one might add to this mix, but that’s probably enough for now. I’m sure you get the picture.

I’m going to be bold here. I think many of us are frightened of love. The very idea of being loved by another (while exciting and truly what we really really want) is either illusive, or scares the bejesus out of us and we run a mile, rejecting the very thing we desire.

Then there’s this fantasy, that someone else will provide us with ALL the love we need, and that then LOVE is somehow magically sorted. I’ve known for some time that this is not really the case. Love has to be found within ourselves, and reinforced via our interactions with others and nature.

But it’s complicated to accept love if we’re hurting, and don’t love ourselves. Sometimes we need a bit of help with this part, which is totally okay. I believe we can heal from a lack of love, when we can open ourselves to the possibility that it lies within us, AND take a risk in accepting (some of it) from others. John O’Donohue (my most favourite Irish poet) says:

Love does not remain within the heart, it flows out to build secret tabernacles in a landscape. 

I LOVE this concept, which is why I continue to work as a holistic therapist (as well as a writer). Because love does flow out, when one can accept it within oneself. And I am blessed to be able to share it with others, through loving kindness, honest interactions and compassionate listening. Love is not conditional, and it comes in many forms.

Love is human connectivity. It’s not an exclusive thing that only a partner, or a parent can provide. It’s what we feel when we are with someone we care about, when we are connected. Or what we see in a sunrise. It’s appreciation and respect. It knows no bounds and we feel it.

Love is the threshold where divine and human presence ebb and flow into each other.

Any one of us is capable of creating, providing and receiving love (sometimes with a bit of help, or by taking a risk). Loving ourselves is the start of the love-fest.

So, what can you do today, to connect with your own self-love?

And what can you do, to shine love on the life of someone who is unable to see theirs?

Or is there someone you simply need to say “I love you” to?