Iona Winter

I’ve been absent for a while. I apologise for the lack of communication from my end. Although I’ve not heard any complaints (because this blogging business is often a one way street), I do feel some responsibility, to post things for you to read.

Responsibility, now there’s a BIG word.

I’ve noticed, perhaps more often as I’ve grown older, that responsibility has morphed over the years. Childhood – the responsibility to be good, behave, not question, answer when spoken to, and be a shining star (usually for others). Adolescence – the responsibility to question everything, not being good all the time, to have secrets, not (necessarily) answering when spoken to, and to be a dark star (possibly) rejecting all conformity. Adulthood – the responsibility to question some things, to know when it’s important to behave (and when you have the freedom not to), being responsible for your own actions, to answer what’s required to be answered (or not), and to be au fait with your own star in the infinite universe.

As I’ve aged (not that I’m ancient by any stretch of the imagination) I realise that responsibility comes in a plethora of forms. AND that we hold ALL of the responsibilities learned to date: ones our families suggested we might like to pick up, or ones we’ve had dumped on us, or ones we thought might be useful along the way. Being a relatively responsible person, I have a rather large bag of these goodies. AND I often find myself feeling responsible for pointing out moral or ethical things to other people – you know like racism, sexism, gender inequality…oh okay then, just any of the ‘ism’s.

But how much of this is really my responsibility? Surely, if I keep hold of the responsibility doesn’t it prevent others from picking up some of the slack? I guess the reality is that some people are responsible, some are semi-responsible, and others simply are not. Yep, that’s the way of things. In my less lucid moments however, I can be heard muttering to myself, why is that? 

Oddly, this does not depress me. It motivates me. Actually, I do know that I don’t have to take on other people’s responsibilities. Most adults are more than capable of being responsible for themselves (aka my current mantra).

At the end of the day, we are solely responsible for (and to) ourselves. But I still believe that it’s important to pause, and reflect on how my actions might affect others. Am I coming from a place of personal responsibility – or reacting to something which is not mine to pick up? Hmmm, now that’s something to ponder.