Iona Winter

Today my friends, I write on a serious note. Sexual violence. I am unsure why the topic has surfaced today, but it has. Short of delivering a socio-cultural-political critique on the subject, it’s true that women and children get the worst of it. This fact deeply saddens me.

One in three women globally. For the record, this is not a new revelation to me.

Look around you. That’s one in three women in your life. Your mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, partner, daughter, granddaughter, friend, colleague…

There is NOTHING acceptable about sexual violence. Any experience of sexual violence, coercion, rape, abuse, non-consent (to name a few), is harrowing. And it’s vital that we do not compare one experience to another. Because NONE of these experiences are okay. That’s it. Full stop.

Every year, I see and hear more women speaking their truths. Many of us have been doing so for decades. BECAUSE it needs to be spoken about. Every year, there are funding cuts to frontline services to support those (primarily women and children) who’ve been sexually violated. We pick up our banners and we march, sign petitions, and shout to the skies WHY DOES THIS NEVER END?

For as long as I can remember (in my short lifetime) sexual violence has occurred. The stats don’t change. So we must continue to speak about it (well, those of us who can). EVERY PERSON who has experienced sexual violence is brave. Not just the ones who speak about it. To live with this in our lives, to have our internal worlds changed forever, this is bravery.

I have both a suggestion and a challenge for you today, dear readers.

Please allow the women (and children and men) in your lives to talk about their experiences of sexual violence. Yes, it might be unpleasant to hear—but my god it was seriously unpleasant to experience! Part of the healing process is to speak it out. Where does it go if we don’t speak it out? NOWHERE. It remains inside, festering, aching and changing us irrevocably in some way, shape or form. For those of you who are evidence-based, research has finally proven this point, in that our brains change. However, those of us familiar with sexual violence have been telling researchers this for years!

My challenge is a serious one, it will take some courage. Think, just for a few moments, of how it would be to live (every single day) with the knowledge that your sacredness has been violated, sexually. Think of how it could make you feel in your life, towards other people, in the workplace, towards friends and family. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, just for a few moments.

Keep talking about sexual violence. It’s real, and it happens every day in your neighbourhood, regardless of ethnicity, socio-economic status, age and religion.