Iona Winter

For a couple of days now I’ve had the theme from Black Beauty running through my head. It’s quite an epic tune really, reminiscent of childhood and the black and white TV we watched (if we’d done all our chores). But I never liked horses, they scared the bejesus out of me. There were paddocks full of them where I grew up – the same paddocks where we picked blackberries each sumer – a love/hate relationship with the paddocks there! My fear of horses possibly related to the fact that I am not a very tall human. As such, I suppose I am often aware of my vulnerability height-wise (amongst other things).

Speaking of this (vertical challenge) I am soon to make my first trip back to the Big Smoke, to attend a music gig (and visit loved ones). I will be in a crowd, a sell out crowd, of other humans significantly taller than me. Perhaps I should wear high heels – now I’m thinking! It will be strange though, to return to the city from which I escaped. BUT I’m sure I’ll survive it.

Back to horses. A random phrase that springs to mind is the saying ‘horses for courses’. What does that really mean? Does it come from a time where the large beasts were eaten? Yuck. I checked the origin out (if only to dispel my gag response) and figure it means, what fits for me might not fit for you – and I’m not speaking of clothes here. This leads me to thinking about relationships, and how most of us desire being close to other human beings. Or perhaps a cat, dog or horse, if people aren’t your thing.

Far be it from me to preach to the converted, about the depths of connection possible in human relationships, but I do know one thing. We don’t have to be exactly the same as the people we connect with, or the people we fall in love with. The fallacy I (and many other women) grew up with was: a gorgeous knight would ride in (yes, on a horse) gather us into his arms, while professing his undying love and commitment, and we’d live happily ever after. Either in a castle or behind a picket fence. That smacks of entrapment to me.

I think of the beautiful people I have in my life, and my different connections with each one of them. They all bring perspectives that either align with my world view, or challenge it. Both are meaningful. The people I love connect with me, often on levels that I am completely unaware of (until afterwards). There is potency and potential in the air between us, and for no logical reason we both sense the sparks and respond (and sometimes don’t) for a multitude of reasons. I guess what I’m trying to say, if you peel back the waffle, is that I don’t have to mould myself to fit anyone else. And neither do you.

If I stand true to myself, with love, authenticity and integrity, then I am being my truth (and connecting from that place). All I can hope for is that the person I am interacting with (in any given moment), feels safe enough to do the same. That folks is depth, in my humble opinion. When this happens, we open ourselves to being more deeply connected. Honestly, I have no desire whatsoever to be whisked away on a horse. I want to be loved for who I am, just like everyone else. It’s not rocket science.

Right now I can hear a train tooting its whistle in the distance, and in my minds eye I see Black Beauty running alongside it, his beautiful mane flying in the wind to the theme song. There I am in the front carriage, waving out the window with a beautifully vibrant scarf. Toodle-pip!